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And I just thought it was a midwestern thing

2009/07/09

Hardboiled eggs prepackaged for your convenience. Sounds innocuous. Grab a bag of those, some shredded cheese and lettuce and a flavored mayonnaise and, kablooey, you’ve cooked dinner! See, when you put it like that it’s clear that it is indeed a sure sign of the apocalypse:

When civilisation has disintegrated entirely, and the fruitful fields of England, the African savannah, the great plains of the United States and the undulating steppes of Eurasia are all laid waste by flame and war – the remnant of humanity will stand up, dust itself down and ask the question: Where did it all go wrong? 

And I could answer. Pinpoint the moment we’d gone too far. The beginning of the end, the first unwavering step towards annihilation. 

It was the Happy Boiled Egg.

via the Guardian

I was a little surprised to see such harsh words for it; after all, in my mid-sized midwestern town (cosmopolitan according to the locals), you can buy hardboiled eggs by the dozen right next to your prepackaged deli sandwiches. Walk past them every week when I shop. It is one of those things that I tell friends and family from the big city just to see the shock and horror on their faces. I’ve yet to see anyone buy them, but someone has to because otherwise the locals do not grasp at all the concept of targeted audiences.

I boil my own eggs, thank you. In fact, I will be doing so this weekend and I’ll be trying the trick to turn the carton over the night before to get the yolks in the middle (science had to show up sometime, hooray viscosity!). I hope this doesn’t mean I’d be at the hardboilocalypse epicenter when it comes. Hmm, I think I’ll try to move to a nice blue state soon.

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  1. 2009/07/20 at 18:56
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